There was more. As they fantasised, they engaged in repetitive movements – from pacing, rocking and spinning to throwing a ball up in the air. Famous actors and singers dotted their dreamscapes. They dreamed of idealised versions of themselves of close friendships, romance, power, rescue and escape. This wasn’t the stuff of everyday mind wandering: these were hyper real, minutely detailed scripts that played on the walls of their minds for most of their waking hours. In 2002, Dr Eli Somer, a professor of clinical psychology from Haifa University in Israel, noticed six of the twenty-four child abuse survivors he was treating at the time “occasionally alluded to this secretive, internal fantasy life that they lived”. She thinks her friends might have noticed something’s up. It swallows up to 70 percent of her time. He once walked five hours straight without realising when he finally stopped he looked down and saw his heels were bleeding.įor Sarah, a job is out of the question because “triggers are everywhere.” Instead she laughs, cries, sings, talks out loud, then re-emerges from the fog hours later, drained. The facility manager does it in the dark in his bedroom or on long solitary walks as he listens to the same playlist on repeat. She would be horrified if anyone knew.īill’s sessions can last eight hours. It makes her feel “safe, warm, excited, happy, content and balanced”, but she also suspects it is the reason she has never married. Andrea does it for three hours every day, rolling from side to side on her bed to music.
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